Ladies, this is a post I had to write but feel hesitant to share with you.  I don’t expect it to be popular, and that’s okay.  

The words you’re about to read literally bled my from heart over the weekend.  As much as I prefer to stay away from the hard topics,  I feel like I cannot be silent.

The highly anticipated film, Fifty Shades of Greywill hit theaters this week.  Should Christian women watch Fifty Shades of Grey? 

I can’t decide that for you, but as far as I’m concerned… 


I can’t really describe it in single word.  

Maybe stunned?  Shocked?  Horrified?

I’m not ashamed to say that I’m don’t watch racy movies.  Anything with language or sexual innuendos is out, as far as I’m concerned.

So yeah, I was pretty amazed when I picked up my smart phone a few days ago and saw the movie trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey dancing across the screen in front of me.

Aside from feeling incensed that Pandora had just played an R-rate movie advertisement on my phone (way to go, Pandora), I was dismayed to see the “romance” trilogy that hit the best-seller lists in 2011 coming to life as a film.

Should Christian Women Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

I have never read the Fifty Shades trilogy, so this isn’t a review.  What I am going to share with you are facts (you can read them online, just like I did), stats, and the honest-to-goodness opinions of a conservative, Christian woman.  

Please keep that in mind as you read.

Should Christian Women Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

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I’m sure you’re aware, but Fifty Shades of Grey follows the story of a wealthy, handsome business man (Christian Grey) and his sadistic, abusive sexual relationship with young, naive Anastasia Steele. 

Read a summary of Fifty Shades of Grey here.

How could a story like this become popular in a world dominated by feminists?  That’s the question I’m asking myself and I still haven’t found any answers, except to conclude that ours is a culture infatuated with the perverse.

I’m not snubbing Fifty Shades of Grey simply because there are better books to read or movies to watch. 

I am alarmed- deeply alarmed– by Fifty Shades of Grey because the message it is sending to the women (and men) in our culture is absolutely toxic.

It grieves me to realize that the popularity of Fifty Shades, and other media like it, simply points to a culture that has completely lost it’s moral bearings.

If I sound like I’m exaggerating just a bit, let me throw a few statistics your way: 

  • The National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCSE) recently launched an aggressive national campaign against the controversial film. (source)
  • Despite the racy content, Fifty Shades of Grey has topped best-seller lists around the world, including those of the United Kingdom and the United States. The series has sold over 100 million copies worldwide, been translated into 52 languages, and set a record in the United Kingdom as the fastest-selling paperback of all time. (source)
  • A new study out of Michigan State University (published in the Journal of Women’s Health) indicates that young women who read the bestselling bondage-and-S&M-laced story by British author E.L. James were more likely to engage in a range of risky behaviors compared to those who hadn’t read it. (source)
  • According to more conservative sources, Fifty Shades of Grey popularized “mommy porn” and the scenes depicted in the books/movie are explicit and abusive. (source)

Is it an overstatement to label Fifty Shades of Grey as “porn”?

  • The book’s erotic nature and perceived demographic of its fan base as being composed largely of married women over thirty led to the book being dubbed “Mommy Porn” by some news agencies. (quoted from Wikipedia)


Should Christian Women Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

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And speaking of porn- 

  • 47% of Christians claim that porn is a major problem in their homes. (source)
  • According to a study published in the Journal of Adolescent Research, about half (49 percent) of young adult women agree that viewing pornography is an acceptable way of expressing one’s sexuality. (source)
  • 89% of scenes in mainstream pornography today depict violence against women and this is spilling over into the mainstream media. (source)
  • Pornography creates and drives the demand for trafficked women and children. (source)

How does all that sound for romantic entertainment?

What this means to me, as a conservative, Christian woman… 

1. I am humbled by my great need for Christ.

Just in case I sound like the proverbial Pharisee, let me assure you that what I discovered about Fifty Shades of Grey (and the moral issues that pertain to it) has brought me to my knees in soul-searching prayer.

I can easily point my finger at “the nasty, bad guys”, but the awful truth is that sin and lust and perversion aren’t always cloaked in shades of gray. 

And a deceitfully wicked heart is buried inside us all.

————————–> “Now if you feel inclined to set yourself up as a judge of those who sin, let me assure you, whoever you are, that you are in no position to do so.

“For at whatever point you condemn others you automatically condemn yourself, since you, the judge, commit the same sins.

“God’s judgment, we know, is utterly impartial in its action against such evil-doers. What makes you think that you who so readily judge the sins of others, can consider yourself beyond the judgment of God?

“You have a certain grasp of the basis of true knowledge. You have without doubt very great advantages. But, prepared as you are to instruct others, do you ever teach yourself anything?

“You preach against stealing, for example, but are you sure of your own honesty?

“You denounce the practice of adultery, but are you sure of your own purity?

“You loathe idolatry, but how honest are you towards the property of heathen temples?

“Everyone knows how proud you are of the Law, but that means a proportionate dishonour to God when men know that you break it!”

taken from Romans chapter 2 <————————–

Should Christian Women Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

2. I cannot play with sin, not even in secret.

Sometimes sin is ugly and obvious.  Other times, it is innocently, even beautifully disguised.

But the monster behind the mask is still out to kill.

I am painfully aware of the need to be completely honest with myself, and honest with God. 

“Thou desirest truth in my inward parts;

in the hidden part Thou shalt make me to know wisdom.”

Psalm 51:6

3. I am engaged in a battle for my personal purity, my marriage, and the innocence of my children. 

Is this the kind of media I am prepared for my children to grow up viewing as normal?

Is this message acceptable for married couples?  For singles?

Is this all that is left of our culture’s wrecked view of love and romance?

Should Christian Women Watch Fifty Shade of Grey?

image source

4. Now more than ever, Biblical sexuality must be understood, embraced, and lived out.

With the constant onslaught of twisted sexuality in our media, I have to wonder how on earth Christian women are ever going to stay the course concerning what God actually intended when He created sex?

We hear and see such distorted and vile messages from our culture… and, unless God’s people are bold enough to speak and live the truth, that is often the only voice anyone is hearing.

Don't let the world squeeze you into it's broken mold. | Kristy's Cottage blog

Ladies, it is paramount- absolutely vital– that we understand and embrace every part of our role and design as Christian women.  

We must reject the lies, then boldly live out truth and teach our daughters to do the same.

Articles to read on sexual exploitation and pornography: 

 Should Christian women watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

I’m nobody’s conscious.  I’m not the movie police.

I’m not facetious enough to believe that everyone has to think and believe and live just like me.

But, my sisters, be careful.  Be very careful. 

Fifty Shades of Grey is not entertainment.

It is not romantic.

It is not a game.


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20 thoughts on “Should Christian women watch Fifty Shades of Grey?

  1. I’ve always been anti 50 shades for many reasons but what troubled me was that – no matter how difficult, no matter how out of our comfort zone it is – I somehow realised that the Christian response to it couldn’t be to just ignore it or simply dismiss it as porn.
    I think Jesus would have gone head to head with it – as He had that knack of doing in all difficult situations – and engage with it on some level that glorified God’s love over the ‘love’ portrayed in the series. I had no idea how to do this though and I like that Christian blogs and writers have tried to do so. The problem was always that – non believers – had no interest in this standpoint and I didn’t have the skill to get over that wall.
    I tweeted a lot about my opposition to it and someone sent me a link to a Christian fiction response that takes the original format of the book and then ‘mirrors’ it with a story about God’s love taking in concepts like ‘doulos’ and salvation along the way. I’ve given it to some friends – the same ones that had no interest in Christian blog posts – and they’ve really been engaged and informed by it and have gone on to engage in real talks about faith underpinned by it. One is (tentatively) attending church.
    For me that underpins that the key in the debate is – not to preach to one another about it – but to use it as a chance to outreach. The link – should anyone be interested is

    Posted on February 18, 2015 at 7:32 am
    1. Great perspective, Amy. Thanks for sharing.

      Posted on February 18, 2015 at 11:35 am
  2. Thank you so much for writing this post! It is so important for us to stay the course in this world where everything moral is blurring to “gray”, and I really appreciate you publicly standing up for Truth! And for bringing your readers attention to some facts about the issue at hand. And just how serious it really is. It is. It is so serious. People don’t talk about it much out loud, but having a lawyer in the family I have heard just how common these sorts of issues are in real life, just down the street. It’s scary, and makes me pray continually for the protection of my family and their hearts and minds as we face this world. We must keep faith. And trust in The Lord for our protection and wisdom. My mama always says if you give the devil an inch, he will take a mile. So no inches! I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me. Phil. 4:13.

    Posted on February 13, 2015 at 6:46 pm
  3. I wanted to let you know that I featured this post on my blog. You can see it at

    Thank you for your perspective.

    Posted on February 13, 2015 at 5:55 pm
    1. Thank you so much, Angela!

      Posted on February 16, 2015 at 10:46 am
  4. You are so awesome, Kristy! Thank you for writing this! You have expressed my thoughts exactly. This is evil and we need to stand for what is pure and wholesome.

    Posted on February 13, 2015 at 4:26 pm
  5. I think it is a personal decision whether or not to watch it. I have read the books and I would not care to watch the movie. If you are an adult, you make your own decisions, you also have to be in terms with God on those decisions. We do not have the right to judge others, especially when it’s not our business. I would not say the content of the movie or book is evil, that is a far stretch. I would say there is inherently worse evil in the world than what consenting adults do behind closed doors, as long as it does not affect me in a personal or negative way.

    Posted on February 13, 2015 at 12:58 pm
    1. Melanie, I agree with you that we do not have the right to judge others. I hope you didn’t hear judgement in this post.

      However, I do disagree with you on the grounds that Fifty Shades is not evil. If I believe the Word of God, then I must believe that anything that glamorizes sexual immortality is, in fact, evil. What consenting adults do behind closed doors is one thing; watching it on a screen (or reading it in a book) is quite another… that does affect me if I choose to partake in it via entertainment.

      I don’t feel that stating this is “judging”. It is speaking the truth, and my heart is to do that with grace and humility.

      Posted on February 13, 2015 at 1:42 pm
  6. As Christians, we are commanded to abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:22). Like David, all Christians should say, “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes” (Psalm 101:3).
    Do not apologize for your post. We are to speak against evil.

    Posted on February 12, 2015 at 6:18 pm
  7. Hi Kristy,

    I have come across this “Fifty Shades of Grey” several times, on Facebook, on Youtube and a lot more other media. But I didn’t bother to read through or investigate what it’s about (I have this weird thought inside of me that if it’s something that interests most of the social media users(including my FB friends) and/or the general public then it’s mostly not that will interest me too) I don’t mean anything that will make me cleaner and purer than others, I’m truthfully, absolutely not.

    But I’m just very thankful that I became educated, informed and even more thankful that it didn’t drive my interest through your blog here. I don’t think I will know about it this far if not here.

    Thank you for sharing this.


    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 7:41 pm
  8. Hey sister! I don’t believe I have ever heard of this movie but I agree totally with your post just as well. Media is the devil’s number one tool he has used throughout the years and it would behoove every true Christian family to remove any form of Hollywood from their home and from entering their home. It is time for true Christian families to take back their homes from Hollywood and/or continue keeping this perversion from entering their homes! Thanks for your stand an your burden! Don’t apologiZe! Love you!

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 6:54 pm
  9. God richly bless you for faithful words!

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 4:50 pm
  10. I am appalled at this movie just as you are, but I am more concerned with the amount of “Christians” that think it is harmless.

    As an interesting side note, did you know that the movie “Old Fashioned” ALSO premiers this weekend? It is hardly publicized at all and is not showing in many theaters. It is a story of a God-honoring courtship that shows men respecting women. Quite the opposite of 50 Shades I must say.

    Thanks for this wonderful post and all that you write. You are truly an inspiration to us all! Keep up the good work!

    Love ya!

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 3:39 pm
    1. I just read about “Old Fashioned” last night… thanks for mentioning it, Niki. Wholesome media needs the lime light, too!

      Posted on February 11, 2015 at 4:14 pm
  11. Kristy, my Mom and I read your blog faithfully via our e-mail, and we just wanted to take a moment and tell you how much we appreciate you! You are a rare woman of God who is shining bright in our increasingly dark world, and you will never know what a blessing your blog is to us! Thank you for this post, sister in Christ. We agree with you 101% 😉
    Kaitlin and Teresa
    Ps. I was listening to Focus on the Family a while back, and there is a new book out on this very subject called: “Pulling Back the Shades”. It is co-authored by Dannah K. Gresh whom I respect very highly after reading her book on modesty, “Secret Keeper”. I just thought I’d mention it as it pertains to your post!

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 12:24 pm
    1. Thank you so much for reading, Kaitlin (and Teresa), and for stopping by to share those encouraging words. That means a lot! 🙂

      Thank you as well for mentioning the book… I’m always interested in finding new wholesome reading material. I’m so glad Focus on the Family addressed this topic. I don’t always take time to tune in to their broadcasts like I’d like, but I appreciate Focus a lot!

      Posted on February 11, 2015 at 2:50 pm
  12. Kristy, I’m not saying this because I love you, but because it’s true. This is spot on. This post moves me tremendously! I believe God laid it on your heart to write these words and I am so glad that you posted them.

    When I think about all I’ve read about 50 Shades, I can’t help but think of what a contrast it is between God’s description of love in 1 Corinthians 13. It’s complete, polar opposites! And along with you, I am so very saddened by the way this message has snuck into the hearts of fellow Christian women.

    This is a needed message! Thank you for sharing what God placed so heavily on your heart!

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 10:58 am
    1. Thank you so much, Kristen. I appreciate those words more than you may know.

      Posted on February 11, 2015 at 10:59 am
  13. I know nothing of the Fifty Shades of Gray but I do object to pictures of men on pinterest. If someone wants to view specific content I’m sure there are sites they can visit but when I began pinterest I thought it was a site of hints,, recipes,, etc.

    Posted on February 11, 2015 at 9:36 am
    1. I agree, Judy. It bothers me whenever I see “eye candy” boards with pictures of “hot” men, movie stars, etc. At best, this deeply dishonors manhood… at worst, it feeds a dangerously sinful nature within us all.

      Posted on February 11, 2015 at 11:01 am