I’m revisiting this post, How to Find a Titus 2 Mentor, today in response to questions like these from sweet friends:

I have been praying for over a year that God would provide a mentor for me. Our church doesn’t have anything set up to help younger women find a mentor. I have read some posts from you about mentor ship and wondered as a pastors wife if you would have any insight?” -Katie

“I read your post, 10 Things Every Young Pastor’s Wife Should Know, and I really related to the part about being lonely. This may sound strange, but it is good to know that someone else feels that way too sometimes!  How can I develop friendships as a pastor’s wife?” -Christine

“Will you pray with me that God would bring, or reveal, a mentor to me?” -Sandy

I completely relate to Katie, Christine, and Sandy.  

I was twenty-something, with two babies and living on the other side of the world state from my family when I asked the Lord to send me a mentor.

I distinctly remember the day I prayed this prayer because it was followed very quickly by seeds of doubt.  

I wasn’t sure that the Lord had much to work with in finding a mentor for me:

I lived in the middle of nowhere.

Our church was small.

I had very few friends, and basically no network of fellowship with like-minded women.

I don’t know exactly what I expected, but the circumstances didn’t seem especially promising.

How to Find a Titus 2 Mentor | Kristy's Cottage


Not surprisingly, the Lord is much smarter than I am!  

He sent two amazing women into my life who, many years later, still continue to shape, encourage, and inspire me in my journey as a woman, a pastor’s wife, and a mother.

As I develop this “Titus 2 Mentoring” focus here at the blog in the coming months, I hope to share more about my mentors: how I met them, what they taught me (and are still teaching me), and how they influenced me to speak into the lives of other women.

(One of my sweet mentors has gone on to Heaven, but her life and legacy still influences me on a daily basis!)

What Do I Mean By “Mentor”?

What I don’t mean is a perfect lady who invites me into her pristine home for a cup of organic tea and a five-hour counseling and prayer session once-a-week.

Although, that actually sounds kind of nice.  Perhaps not entirely practical, but nice!

What I do mean by a “mentor” is-

a godly, older friend who is willing to invest her time and talents into sharing her life, her struggles, and her wisdom with younger women (including me).

Finding a Titus 2 Mentor | Kristy's Cottage

For me, “mentors” have always been women who are ahead of me (spiritually and otherwise) in this journey of life, but I’ve also been inspired and encouraged by women who are my own age… or even younger than me! 

No one is too young to “mentor” someone, but the Biblical mandate to women is that older ladies ARE TO TEACH THE YOUNGER WOMEN, both by words and example, how to live a godly life.

Titus 2 paints a clear picture of how God expects the torch of Biblical womanhood to pass to the younger generation:

But Speak Thou The Things Which Become Sound Doctrine:

That The Aged Men Be Sober, Grave, Temperate, Sound In Faith, In Charity, In Patience

The Aged Women Likewise, That They Be In Behaviour As Becometh Holiness, Not False

Accusers, Not Given To Much Wine, Teachers Of Good Things;

That They May Teach The Young Women To Be Sober, To Love Their Husbands, To Love Their Children,

 To Be Discreet, Chaste, Keepers At Home, Good, Obedient To Their Own Husbands, That The Word Of God Be Not Blasphemed.

Titus 2:1-5

Where are the mentors?  you might ask.  And how do I find one?  

Here are a few thoughts on how a young pastor’s wife (or any young woman) can seek out a godly mentor:

Ask God To Send You A Mentor

I know I’m sounding repetitive, but perhaps you have not because you ask not.  

Fervently pray for the Lord to place godly women into your life as an example, encouragement, and role model.

Your “mentor” may be a godly friend, or perhaps a Christian author or blogger who really speaks to you (I’ll get to that in a minute!).

My answer to prayer for a mentor didn’t always look like what I anticipated it would, and it didn’t always happen overnight.  But, I have never, ever, found the Lord unwilling to guide me as I sought His will and His truth for my life as a Christian woman.

I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way thou shalt go; I will guide thee with mine eye.” Psalm 32:8

Always Seek Knowledge & Be Open To Correction

Having a mentor in your life means you’re going to have some learning to do, because your life as it is now will be challenged!  

That’s a good thing, but it isn’t always an easy thing.

Years ago, I read some very wise words in a book by Debi Pearl:

How to Find a Titus 2 Mentor | Kristy's Cottage

“A wise woman is always learning.  She is open to change.  She is ready to hear.” (Debi Pearl)

This has become my life’s mantra!

If you are seeking a mentor, recognize that this means you are asking God to change you, because that’s exactly what He’s going to do.

Godly wisdom challenges our mediocrity and points out our errors and secret sins.  (Proverbs 27:17; Psalm 19:13)

Be willing and ready to accept correction.  Pursue wisdom!

Study The Lives Of Wise Women

These can be women you know personally, or women who touch your life via books, blogs, or other forms of media.

He that walketh with wise men shall be wise, but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.”

Proverbs 13:20

I have been influenced by many Christian writers, but there are three in particular whose lives greatly shape mine:

Elisabeth Elliot.

I began reading Mrs. Elliot’s writings when I was about thirteen years old.

I still read her books.  Any of her writings are worth reading (and re-reading), but a few I keep close at hand are Keep a Quiet HeartThe Music of His Promises, and The Shaping of a Christian Family.  

The life and writings of Elisabeth Elliot have shaped my understanding of Christian womanhood.



Sally Clarkson.

I stumbled upon Sally’s blog, SallyClarkson.com, around the same time I was asking God for a mentor.  (Perhaps my “stumble” was by divine appointment?)

I had never before read words like Sally’s and they took root in my heart.

Over the years I have read and re-read Sally’s articles.  More recently I was introduced to her books.  Sally is my “motherhood” mentor.

Next weekend, I’m planning to attend Sally’s Mom Heart Conference in Dallas for the first time.  

I can hardly wait to hear this amazing lady in person!  Maybe I’ll get to hug her neck?  If I do, you’ll hear about it!  🙂

If you’re looking for godly reading material and bloggers to glean from, here are a few links to reference (these are my personal favorites!): 

Titus 2 Mentoring @ Kristy's Cottage

As a young pastor’s wife I am finding that many women are wide open for friendship, but relationships take time and emotional energy to cultivate.  And mentoring requires that a woman has allowed God to develop something worth sharing into her own life.

The general consensus among women in my generation seems to be that the “older” women who are up to the challenge of mentoring are few and far between.  I believe that Biblical womanhood is foundational to godly homes, churches, and societies; the break-down in our culture is symptomatic of a break-down in the mentor-ship instituted in God’s Word (Titus 2:1-5)

Titus 2 mentoring is a topic I hope to write about more in the coming months.  I’d love your feedback on this!

Now, Tell Me:

Do you have a godly, Titus 2 woman in your life?  

Do you feel like you need one?

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13 thoughts on “How to Find a Titus 2 Mentor {Revisted}

  1. What a lovely blog! There is so much that I identify with here, particularly your fondness for Elisabeth Elliott. I’ve been learning from her since I was a teenage girl and had the privilege of meeting her at a conference in 1989. I’m happy to see this Titus 2 encouragement. I’m a 68-year-old grandmother who homeschooled my daughters back when that was an “unheard of” thing to do. I just began blogging in December, and I’m taking it a bit slowly because there is so very much to learn about doing it right. The Lord has called me to be available for “online mentoring.” My first choice for each of you would be “a face-to-face person with skin you can touch,” but if that isn’t available, I’ll be glad if you would like to write me. I have skin too, although a bit wrinkled. Feel free to visit my blog to see if you sense “a connection.” If so, you may leave a comment on my About page. I’ll get back to you as soon as possible, but that might mean “a few days.” You see, I still work, teaching English as a Second Language to international students who are preparing for college. I pray God’s richest blessings on all of you young ladies. I like to conclude my messages the same way that Elisabeth does: Remember, you are loved with an everlasting love and underneath are the everlasting arms!

    Posted on March 28, 2015 at 6:43 pm
    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to leave a comment and connect with us here, Mrs. Rosemary! I appreciate your heart for mentoring younger women and know you are a blessing to many!

      I would LOVE to have the privilege to meet Elisabeth Elliot in person. Her writings have shaped my life in so many ways!

      Posted on March 30, 2015 at 4:06 pm
  2. I have just discovered your blog in depth today, as a result of your “how should a pastor’s wife dress” post. That was real great to read, and I’m looking forward to the next post in the series. I just wandered on your site and found this post on a Titus 2 mentor, and I am so excited to read this I can hardly stand it. I feel convicted by the Holy Spirit to start this up at our church, and kicked this off about 18 months ago. It is a Titus 2 discipleship ministry, and has been successful in opening a dialogue on the scripture, and building a community of ladies that are willing to teach and learn on specific topics…but not once did I even think to pray God to connect me with a mentor long-term…but of course! I want to kick our ministry up a notch, and God’s word speaks loudly. Our group is called Hearts Seeking Home. Our Hearts seek our homes here, but ultimately our homes with God. Thank you for the insight!

    Posted on March 25, 2015 at 3:58 pm
  3. I need a mentor. The lady i thought i could look too has quit being available for lunches. I know i am floundering . i can’t keep myself on track. I feel so let down by our church and leadership right now i don’t know what to do.

    Posted on February 25, 2015 at 11:52 am
    1. Carrie, I’m so sorry. What a difficult place to be in. I will pray that the Lord will send an anchor your way… it may or may not be a person, but I believe He knows where you’re at, cares deeply for your need, and has the ability to pour enough grace into your life to fill up your heart.

      Posted on February 25, 2015 at 4:18 pm
  4. Kristy, looking forward to reading more Titus 2 Mentoring posts from you. I’ve had God send women into my life that I never would have labeled “mentors” at the time, but looking back I can see that’s exactly what they were. We’ve moved twice this past year and I while I am thankful for a few women that I can call for Godly wisdom and guidance, I miss having that “in person” mentoring relationship… Trusting God’s timing and provision!

    Posted on February 20, 2015 at 9:19 am
    1. Thank you, Cyndee!

      I agree: moving is hard! (Been there!) Praying God will cause you to flourish in your new sphere of influence.

      Posted on February 24, 2015 at 11:29 pm
  5. I really enjoy your blog and love your honesty. If I could please ask for your prayer, I am at a crossroads, trying to find where God wants our family.

    Posted on October 8, 2014 at 3:45 pm
    1. Praying for you this evening, Bianca. Blessings, my friend. Thank you for reading.

      Posted on October 8, 2014 at 7:02 pm
  6. I recently read Sally Clarkson (and Sarah Mae’s) book ‘Desperate’ and I would LOVE to find a mentor close to where I live. I lost my own mom 6 years ago and I think having one would help so much. I hope more women will choose to mentor women like me and that churches would encourage this too.
    – Alia (29 year old mother of 3 boys)

    Posted on October 28, 2013 at 2:56 pm
    1. Alia, it is my prayer that churches will recognize this need and that more women will step up to the role of a Titus 2 mentor. We younger wives desperately need them! Blessings to you, and thank you for the comment!

      Posted on November 5, 2013 at 6:08 am
  7. I have one and its been the biggest blessing! I am incredibly thankful for her and God has used her to teach me soooo much!

    Posted on October 25, 2013 at 7:59 am
    1. What a blessing, Saryssa!

      Posted on November 5, 2013 at 6:09 am