My heart absolutely sank.
It’s not true. I don’t believe it.
Those were the words that raced through my mind when I read about the recent, alleged sex scandals of two of the homeschooling movement’s most prominent men. These stories have shocked and disappointed thousands of Christian families, including mine.
This article isn’t about these men or their alleged sins.
What I want to discuss is how should we as Christian women respond to these kinds of situations?
The truth is, people whom we respect and trust sometimes let us down. Sometimes they utterly fail.
How should women respond?
I’ve been thinking about this for a while, and I want to share a few ideas that I hope will encourage you.
5 Biblical Ways for Women to Respond When Great Men Fail-
1. Don’t gossip about it.
Jesus gave instructions on how to deal with someone else’s sin (Matthew 18:6-17). Gossiping and hashing out ugly details is just not in the mix.
Does this mean that women have to pretend that nothing happened? Absolutely not. There are times to speak up, and times to hold our peace.
How we choose to speak is as important as when we choose to speak:
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. Ephesians 4:29
If anyone among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s (or woman’s) religion is vain. James 1:26
As Christian women, we need to be aware of how our words can either build up or damage our homes, our churches, and the kingdom of God.
2. Don’t believe everything you hear or read.
Information has a way of being twisted, misunderstood, and misrepresented, both by word-of-mouth and online.
Don’t believe or repeat “facts” unless you know them to be facts. Don’t sensationalize circumstances or information. Be discreet.
That thou mayest regard discretion, and that thy lips may keep knowledge. Proverbs 5:2
As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion. Proverbs 11:22
Social media creates an easy environment for “news” and “details” to circulate and be discussed. Be careful!
3. Don’t transfer guilt to the men in your life.
This may sound like a silly point to bring up, but I have seen women do this. And it’s wrong.
Just because you know a pastor who left his wife for another woman does not mean all ministers are adulterers.
Just because you found out about your friend’s husband being addicted to pornography doesn’t mean you can’t trust your husband.
Just because a well-known Bible teacher commits adultery does not mean that all men are hypocrites.
There is a balance to strike between naivety and skepticism. Both ends of the spectrum are out of balance.
A godly man is worthy of his family’s trust. Don’t let one man’s failures make you bitter and suspicious.
4. Be careful not to put men (or women) on a pedestal.
We are all sinners saved by grace. We all fight the same enemy and deal with temptation as long as we have breath.
This is true of your dad, your husband, your sons, your pastor, your neighbor, and of the famous Christian men you follow on the radio or media. It is also true of you and me.
It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man. Psalms 118:8
There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man. I Corinthians 10:13
Extend a little grace, and remember that no one is worthy of worship but God!
5. Pray for the men in your life.
It’s easy to dwell on what someone else is doing wrong, but how about lifting up the men in your life who are striving to do right?
Pray for your husband and seek for ways to build him up and meet his needs.
Pray that God will help you grow as a wife.
Pray that God will send godly men into his life to encourage and influence him.
Pray that your husband will have wisdom, courage, and moral purity.
Pray for your sons! We live in a wicked and indulgent culture; our sons need a praying mama.
Pray for their purity and protection.
Pray that God will raise up a generation of young men who will lead their families in righteousness.
Pray that you, as a mother, will be a Biblical example of womanhood.
Pray for your pastor and other men in spiritual leadership. It is no secret that Satan targets men in Biblical authority. If the enemy can bring down a man through moral failure, he has successfully wounded a home, a marriage, a church, and ultimately, the kingdom of God.
Never forget that no matter who sins, or what the failure is, Biblical truth still stands.
Christ is our Rock. At best, men are still fallible and fallen creatures.
Yes, I’m disappointed by the failures of influential men in Christendom. Yes, I’m grieved that these men have given place for the enemies of God to ridicule. Yes, I’m angry at sin and how it affects our culture, our churches, our children.
But I still believe in God’s plan for marriage and the home. God’s ways will always supersede man’s fallibility.
Keep your eyes on Jesus and your mind made up to serve Him!