Today is part two in our “I Want to be an HelpMeet” mini-series.  Yesterday, Ashley shared about supporting and respecting her Command Man.

Today, my sweet friend, Jacinda, has some words of wisdom on being an helpmeet to the second type of man mentioned in Created to Be His Helpmeet, the Visionary Man:

“Some of you are married to men who are shakers, changers, and dreamers…  Visionaries are often gifted men or inventors…

They love confrontation and hate the status quo…

“…the Visionary is consumed with a need to communicate with his words, music, writing, voice, art, or actions.”

Debi Pearl, Created to Be His Helpmeet

Debi Pearl referrs to this personality in the feminine form as “the dreamer”.  I am a dreamer.  Jacinda is too.  🙂

Here is Jacinda’s take on being the helpmeet of the Visionary Man:

Brad and Jacinda

{Kristy} Jacinda, tell us briefly about your Mr. Visionary- Brad.  What initially drew you to him?

{Jacinda} You mean besides his dimples? 😉

I loved his leadership qualities. We met at a Christian youth camp and I was immediately impressed with his boldness and wisdom in the Bible study group that we both “happened” to be a part of. He also had a real tenderness about him. I think the combination of seemingly opposite qualities sealed the deal.

{Kristy} In her books, Debi Pearl also uses the term “Prophet” to describe the Visionary-type guy.  Do you think this description fits your husband?  Does he tend to want to right the wrongs of the world, to think “big” or “deep”, to analyze a lot about the world around him?

{Jacinda} Absolutely! His mind is constantly going. Most of our dinner time conversations are about our current cultural affairs and our responsibility to be salt and light in the world and active citizens of our country. If he’s not writing letters to our MP (Member of Parliament), or the newspaper, he’s probably working on an article for the Public Affairs Committee at church.

{Kristy} Do you feel that Brad’s “visionary” nature is prominent, or is he a blend of any of the two other types- the Command Man or the Steady?

{Jacinda} His visionary nature is prominent, but he’s got a bit of Mr. Steady thrown in there for good measure.

{Kristy} Just because I’m curious: Which of the three “types” is your dad?

{Jacinda} My dad was Mr. Steady, all the way!

{Kristy} In her book, Preparing to Be a Helpmeet, Debi Pearl tells us about the three types of women: the Dreamer, the Servant, and the Go To Girl. Which of these three best describes you?

{Jacinda} I tend to be a bit of a Dreamer with my own set of aspirations. It can be a real challenge sometimes to set aside my wants and wishes when they’re contrary to my husband’s. We tend to agree on the same thing 99% of the time though, which has been a huge blessing in our marriage. I’m so thankful for a godly husband who firmly shares his biblical convictions.

{Kristy} Think back to when you first became a bride.  What was “key” in your learning to compliment and support your Mr. Visionary?

{Jacinda} I really had to learn to trust his judgement, truly submit to his decisions, and put his interests ahead of my own, remembering that this is God’s recipe for a good marriage.

{Kristy} What were a few of your struggles?

{Jacinda} Brad’s visions of selling our small house and moving somewhere smaller (while our family was still growing!) so we could live debt-free, quiting a steady job to start a home-based business that involved our children, and trading in our nice car for a one we could pay for in cash had me antsy and uptight at first. I don’t like change but he was up for something new and exciting all the time! Now I tend to go along with his ideas. So much so, that we can truly say a decision was OUR decision. Some ideas come to fruition and others don’t, but knowing that he has my support no matter what he decides, gives us both peace and confidence to go  forward in faith.

Brad with his and Jacinda’s two children

{Kristy} What words of advice would you leave with a young wife who is learning to relate to a Visionary-type man?

{Jacinda} In many ways I still am THAT young wife. A Visionary man needs someone to believe that he is doing what is best for the family. Follow where he leads and don’t say “I told you we shouldn’t have done this!” when things don’t turn out. Be tender towards him and never make him feel guilty for taking charge.

Learn what his interests are and become passionate about them. I never thought I could be passionate about tarping systems for flat-bed trailers, but since Brad makes and installs them for the family business and is constantly researching how to design a more efficient, quality product, we can now attend a truck shows together and I’m far from bored! I can spot a tarping system a mile away on the highway and usually know which company made it. 😉

{Kristy} Before we go:  In summarizing her chapter on the “Visionary Man”, Debi Pearl advises wives to “learn to enjoy the ride”.  As the wife of a Mr. Visionary, give us a few thoughts on that.

{Jacinda} Yes, wives of Visionary men sometime need to CHOOSE joy because, as I said earlier, occasionally there will be decisions made that will make you feel anything but celebratory! Learn to ignore your gut reaction, tuck in your quivering lip, and choose to be a vibrant, joyful help-meet to a man who will ensure your life together will be full of adventures and no dull moments!

Thank you, Jacinda, for your insights and wise words!  Your Mr. Visionary is a blessed man. 😉 

Friday, I’ll wrap up this little series with a few words on being the wife of the Steady Man, the third type of personality described in Created to be His Helpmeet My man is Mr. Steady, and I love talking about this subject… stay tuned!


Are you the wife of a Visionary Man? 

What have you learned along your journey as a helpmeet?

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5 thoughts on “Being a HelpMeet {to the Visionary Man}

  1. I am married to a Mr. Visionary, and he has taught me a lot about being more balanced and “thinking outside the box”! 🙂

    Posted on March 22, 2012 at 2:24 pm
  2. My husband is a Mr. Steady with a strong dose of Visionary.  His Command side only seems to come out when he is insecure or feels threatened.  This was excellent advise even for my combo guy!

    Posted on March 15, 2012 at 10:28 am
  3. I am not married to a visionary, my husband is more of a kingly man, maybe mixed with both of the others a little bit.
    However, my brother is 100% this personality! He is so into politics, trying to change things through that, and is also a very talented musician, etc. So, this article was interesting to me. He is still single, but I hope the Lord brings him his ” help meet” soon. 😉

    Posted on March 14, 2012 at 10:29 pm
  4. Excellent post!  I am DEFINITELY the wife of a Visionary man.  I’ve had to learn a lot along the way.  In fact, just last week I was “reminded” just how much I still have to learn. 

    Posted on March 14, 2012 at 2:33 pm
  5. Great post! I enjoyed it very much!  I have to say, I have a command man all the way…all the way! lol  I like to read about the differences and how to deal with them all though!  

    Posted on March 14, 2012 at 11:50 am