I am married to Mr. Steady.
I “discovered” this fact when I read Debi Pearl’s book, Created to Be His Helpmeet, about six years ago. The chapter on the three types of men literally blew me away; the part about the Steady Man seemed like it was written about my husband. I couldn’t believe it!
For the first time in our marriage, I truly began to understand my man. Many of the “faults” I perceived in him were simply the flip-side of a quality I truly admired. As a young wife, how quickly I lost sight of the virtues when I foolishly chose to focus on the faults…
Miss Bossy Meets Mr. Steady
I am a Go-To/Dreamer type of girl. In other words, I tend to be very BOSSY and usually have my head in the clouds. 🙂
If you know anything at all about the Steady type, you know he is the polar opposite of this! Mr. Steady is a quiet, unassuming sort of guy who never picks a fight, tries to change anyone, or demands anything (even if it is important to him). As a man, he is generally well liked by everyone, simply because he is always available to listen, support, and encourage. As a husband, he is loyal, loving, and truly a “giver”.
You may be wondering how in the world a strong-willed, visionary woman and the Steady Man can stand to live together in the same house!
Today and Friday, I’m going to share my heart on being the helpmeet to Mr. Steady. Learning to respect, support, and follow my Steady Man has not been an easy thing for me to do, but it has been worth it.
Mr. Steady’s Biggest Critic
Of the three types of men, the Steady Man is the easiest to please; he’s an all-around nice guy, rarely given to extremes, imbalance, or blatant faults.
Ironically, Mr. Steady is often the least appreciated by his own wife, especially if she is the high-strung, bossy sort of gal. While his peers admire and respect him (because he is so good-natured and helpful), Mr. Steady’s own wife is often his worst critic. Although he lives to please, he may find his wife nearly impossible to please, because she is always picking at his “faults”.
Since Mr. Steady loves peace, he will seek to serve and will most appreciate those who respect him and are grateful for his help. A wise wife will learn to appreciate her Steady Man’s good nature and will make it a habit to vocalize her thankfulness… to him, and to others.
Respect or Criticism
All men thrive on respect. It is their emotional “air”.
However, unlike the Kingly Command Man and the Visionary Man, the Steady Man will likely not demand respect from anyone. Least of all his wife. His desire is that she gives it voluntarily, without coercion.
If she fails to respect and admire him, Mr. Steady will not pitch a fit or go on a tirade… he will quietly withdraw from her emotionally.
Loneliness in marriage is unbearable. How are two people to live and function “as one” without emotional unity?
A critical tongue will strangle the life, love, and joy out of any marriage, but it will be especially fatal to the Steady Man and his wife.
Ladies, if you are the wife of a Steady Man, you must realize (as I did… eventually) that a critical tongue is YOUR VERY WORST ENEMY. Your Mr. Steady must have your respect in order to thrive as a father, a husband, and a man.
to be continued…
Read the rest of the “I Want to Be an Help Meet” series here.
Kristy Howard is a pastor’s wife, second-generation homeschooling mom of five, and a passionate believer in friendship, coffee, and quiet time! Kristy writes about motherhood, ministry and life at KristysCottage.com.